Is Your "Self Care" Just Well-Branded Procrastination?

Lauren Deats
Oct 16
4 min read

Hello, gorgeous, and welcome back to The Bloom Blog! 🌸 It’s your girl, Lauren, here to talk about something that's supposed to make us feel better... but might actually be keeping us stuck.

You’ve seen the Instagram posts, right? The bubble baths, the fancy face masks, the "mental health days" spent on the couch watching an entire season of a mediocre reality show. We call it self-care. It’s the trendiest concept since avocado toast.

But I'm going to drop a truth bomb right here, right now, so brace yourself: For a lot of us, "self-care" is just well-branded, expensive, and socially acceptable procrastination.

Ouch. I know. It stings a little, but hear me out.

The Scam of the Soak

Let’s get real about why we’re suddenly “needing” so much "rest."

You have that big project for work, the one that requires focused effort, the one that will actually move your career forward. It's tough. It’s tedious. It's the opposite of a good time.

So, what do you do?

Stage 1: The Justification. You feel a twinge of stress. Your inner dialogue screams: “I can’t possibly focus when I’m this burnt out. I need a break. Taking care of my mental health is a priority.” (Translation: “I’m terrified of starting this hard thing.”)
Stage 2: The Ritual. You light the $40 candle, pour a glass of wine (for "relaxation," obviously), and cue up that true-crime documentary. You spend 90 minutes scrolling through job postings on LinkedIn, calling it "career exploration," but really you're just putting off the actual work.
Stage 3: The Aftermath. You've consumed a whole pint of artisanal ice cream, your skin is plumped, and you feel… not rested. You feel guilty. The anxiety about the work you didn't do is now heavier than the stress you were initially trying to avoid.

Congratulations! You didn't do the hard thing. You just spent two hours and fifty dollars on an elaborate, temporary distraction. That’s not self-care; that’s a self-soothe mechanism deployed to avoid productive discomfort.

Self-Care vs. Self-Stalling: How to Spot the Difference

This isn't about shaming a good manicure, people. Real self-care is vital. But we need to distinguish between what’s truly replenishing and what’s simply delaying the inevitable.

If Your "Self-Care" Looks Like...

Mindlessly binge-watching TV: It might be Self-Stalling if you are actively avoiding a task that will take less time than the episode itself. It's True Self-Care if it follows a period of intense focus, and you stop at a planned time.
Scrolling social media for an hour: It might be Self-Stalling if you start and end the activity feeling more anxious, overwhelmed, or behind. It's True Self-Care if it involves engaging with uplifting communities or learning something new.
Taking an unscheduled "mental health day": It might be Self-Stalling if the primary goal is escaping a specific tough work assignment or client call. It's True Self-Care if you've hit a genuine wall and need to replenish energy for a long-term goal.
Buying something expensive you don't need: It might be Self-Stalling if it's a quick dopamine hit to numb the stress of an overdue task. It's True Self-Care if it's an investment in your health (like a good pair of walking shoes) or a planned, budgeted reward.

The key difference? Real self-care is proactive, restorative, and leads to greater capacity for productivity. Self-stalling is reactive, draining (in the long run), and only delays the work.

The Meaningful Shift: From Avoidance to Action

Okay, Lauren, so what do I do instead of running away from my to-do list?

You're a professional. This is The Bloom Blog, not The Bubble Bath Blog. It’s time to pivot.

1. Plan for Discomfort

The tasks we procrastinate on are usually the ones that are the most important but the most mentally demanding. Accept that it’s going to suck a little. That's fine.

The 15-Minute Rule: Don't promise yourself you'll finish the whole project. Promise yourself you'll work on it for 15 focused, non-distracted minutes. You can handle 15 minutes of discomfort. Once you're in motion, momentum often takes over.

2. Make Your Breaks Actually Restorative

If you need a break, make it one that actively restores you, not passively numbs you.

Move Your Body: A 10-minute walk, stretching, or doing a load of laundry forces a true cognitive shift and gets the blood flowing.
Talk to a Human: Call a friend or colleague about something completely unrelated to work. Real connection is a true stress reliever.
The Clean Slate: Tidy your workspace. A chaotic desk screams a chaotic mind. Clearing the clutter is self-care for your future, focused self.

3. Reclaim Your Rewards

Self-care shouldn't be the prevention of work; it should be the reward for work.

Next time you feel the urge to run and hide in a lavender-scented cloud, flip the script:

"I am not going to allow myself to have a mental break until I submit this document/write this outline/make these three phone calls."

You'll be amazed how quickly you get the hard thing done when the reward is a genuine, guilt-free rest. When you earn the break, the break feels infinitely better. The water in that bubble bath is sweeter when you know you kicked butt before you stepped in.

Stop treating your career like a bad first date you need to bail on. Face the uncomfortable tasks, use your time wisely, and reserve the real "self-care" for when you've genuinely earned it.

Now, go close the laptop, or better yet, open the document you've been avoiding.

Keep blooming, Lauren

P.S. How are you distinguishing between self-care and self-stalling this week? Drop your honest confessions (and your best tips!) in the comments below!

Lauren is the voice behind The Bloom Blog and a firm believer that career growth shouldn't feel like pulling teeth. As an experienced HR Professional and Career Coach, she specializes in helping career besties stop spinning their wheels and start building careers that truly nourish—not deplete—them. When she's not calling out well-branded procrastination, you can find her helping clients strategically navigate the corporate world with smart, focused action.