HR vs. Your Feelings: Why We Aren't Your Workplace Therapist

Hello, Career Bloomers!

Here's the cold, hard, eye-rolling truth that seems to shock so many people when they finally darken my door: I don't care about your feelings.

Now, before you clutch your pearls and draft a passive-aggressive email to my supervisor, let me clarify.

As an HR professional, I care deeply about the health of the business and the compliance of the workplace. I care about protecting the company, which, by extension, protects you from legal or policy violations. What I don't care about is the intricate emotional drama that underpins your daily office squabbles.

This is when I want to say, Get It Together! 🌸

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The Myth of the HR Confidante

Somewhere along the line, Hollywood and overly empathetic corporate training sessions convinced employees that Human Resources is a soft landing spot, a place to grab a tissue and vent about the injustices of office life. People stride in, ready for a warm cup of validation and a swift resolution to their deeply felt personal offense.

I’m here to tell you to stop. Immediately.

HR is not therapy. We don't hand out gold stars for emotional maturity. We deal in facts, documentation, and policy adherence.

When you come to me and say, "I feel like I’m being treated unfairly," my internal response is, "That's nice. Where is the evidence?" Your feelings are subjective. They can be skewed by a bad night's sleep, a missed lunch, or simply a clash of personalities. None of those things are actionable for me.

What HR Actually Needs From You

If you want HR to actually help you and I mean, help you in a way that generates real change and doesn’t just end with me filing a "low-priority noise" report.....you need to change your approach. Stop leading with your heartache and start leading with a paper trail.

The Four Golden Rules for Talking to HR:

1. Bring Facts, Not Feelings: Instead of "Janice gives me dirty looks," bring a log: "On Tuesday at 3:15 PM, Janice publicly stated that my report was 'garbage' in front of three colleagues (Names A, B, and C), violating the company's code of conduct regarding respectful communication (Section 4.1)."

2. Cite Policy: If you believe a policy was violated (e.g., harassment, discrimination, safety), name the policy. Don't make me guess what you think the problem is.

3. Provide Documentation: Emails, recorded meeting times, documented dates and witnesses. No documentation? You've given me an anecdote, not a case file. And anecdotes go in the metaphorical shredder.

4. Know the Outcome You Seek: Do you want mediation? Formal investigation? Just want it to stop? Tell me the outcome you're looking for, keeping in mind that the outcome must be reasonable, legal, and policy-driven. "I want Janice fired because I don't like her aura" is not reasonable.

The Real Role of HR

The primary function of HR is to mitigate risk for the organization. That’s it. We are the gatekeepers of compliance, the guardians of the handbook, and the ultimate navigators of labor law.

When you bring us a policy violation with solid documentation, we can launch an investigation because that is a risk to the business. When you bring us your personal grievance about a perceived slight, you're just wasting both our time.

So, Career Bloomers,

here is your lesson: separate your work feelings from your work facts. Keep a cool head, keep meticulous records, and know the difference between needing a friendly ear (get a friend) and needing policy enforcement (get a file).

It's not that we are heartless; it's that we are professionals. And in the professional world, the truth is always more valuable than the tears. Now go forth and document everything.

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Check Back Tomorrow For Our Next Blog... The External Question: Why Do I Need To Fill Out The Application When I Sent A Resume?